This is my very vulnerable post. TW: panic attacks
thanks so much for continuing to check out my block while I work out some personal issues. I started this with the hopes of helping others and realized my not wanting to talk about my anxiety is doing zero good, when maybe it can help even just one person feel seen.
If you read one of my first posts, I discuss how I have anxiety and a panic disorder. My panic disorder is triggered by anticipation and change. You may also know we moved out of state recently. This definitely led to my panic disorfer hitting an all time high, even though I was excited about the change. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, my brain freaks out.
You know that feeling when you’re about to do something huge like sing on stage or any fear inducing thing that causes you to feel like you’ll puke? I wake up feeling like that every single morning as soon as I open my eyes. It’s not usually always, but it has been since mid July. Except some days, I don’t just feel sick, I am sick. My panic disorder has made me physically sick more days than it’s not lately and I feel like I’m in my own personal hell. I can’t talk or even move. I literally freeze and have to mentally talk myself down just to so much as standing up and getting lunch for my son.
Now I had no intention of ever sharing this. And please don’t think I’m doing it for attention, I don’t want attention. I simply wanted to explain what it’s like if you know someone who suffers from it or if you are currently going through it. If you are, feel free to reach out and we will get through it together. I’m currently working with my doctors to fix my meds but so far no luck.
If you’ve been feeling like this and aren’t on medicine, please consider speaking to your doctor. None of us deserve to live their lives like this.
Mental health is HEALTH. Remember that.
I will update soon!